You. Are. Enough.
In an era where social media bombards us with images of the perfect family, the perfect friend, the perfect home-cooked meal and so many other perfectly presented images and stories, it is not surprising you might feel a little less than perfect.
How many times have you begun to write an honest account of how you really feel, on one of your social media platforms, and stopped? You suddenly felt vulnerable. You began to worry you’d be judged or not measure up to others’ expectations of you.
Ultimately you had a lack of self-belief or self-worth.
The topic of self-worth is a huge one and not something a short blog can fully address. However, you can look at ways to improve your self-worth and self-belief, especially in the context of becoming a writer.
Why Do You Feel You Are Not Enough?
The list of reasons for feeling we are not enough, can be incredibly complex, but there are some common themes you may resonate with:
- Past rejection;
- Abusive relationships;
- Not achieving set goals;
- Financial struggles;
- Chronic pain or disability;
- Poor academic results or not attending a college or university;
- Critical parents or teachers as a child.
So How Can You Begin To Believe You Are Enough?
To be a writer, it’s important to believe you have a voice that deserves to be heard, because it does.
Your story, your life is important.
You. Are. Enough!
Ok, you might be still struggling to believe that, so let’s look at some tips to help you turn your insecurities into a newfound confidence.
Positive Self Talk
Don’t be hard on yourself if you make a mistake. Talk to yourself as you want to be spoken to as if talking to someone you really care for. Be kind, encouraging, and supportive in your self-talk. When you say negative things about yourself out loud or even in your head, your brain hears them and takes them in and can adjust your mood and how you see and think about yourself based on these things. Making this change can help you in so many ways beginning inward and flowing outward until you can see a difference.
Acknowledge The Positive Things In Your Life
If someone compliments you, say “thank you.” Appreciate the moment and allow yourself to feel boosted by it.
Celebrate all your achievements no matter how large or small. Even finishing a chapter of your book is cause for celebration, or perhaps you’ve decided on the book title! Now that’s a huge achievement.
Appreciate Your Strengths
We are all good at listing our weaknesses, but to improve your self worth you need to spend as much if not more time listing and thinking about your strengths. Make sure you keep the list in a place where you can see it, and refer to it often. Every time you begin to doubt yourself, read your list to yourself.
If you can’t come up with a list, ask a close friend, family member, or perhaps a colleague, to write one for you. You can even ask more than one person to help you with this list. Every single person around you has a different perspective of you and can add to your list from all different frames of reference. This can be incredibly self-affirming.
Concentrate on "What Is", not "What If"
During the course of our lives, we have all asked ourselves “what if?” It’s a normal thing to do; to sit and ponder the vastness of our lives and if we could have changed a small or large detail in a pivotal moment or experience we have had. It can be an exhausting rabbit hole of spiraling thoughts.
The “what ifs” are paralyzing, and soul-destroying. You will never experience the joys that can be found in life unless you cease asking “what if” and start focusing on “what is.” This doesn’t mean you can’t learn from the past, it just means that we need to spend more time in the present than in the past.
Life may not be perfect but it’s still your life to be lived to the fullest and it sure does matter.
“If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.”
(Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart)
Writing Is So Cathartic?
The most popular movies are often those where someone retreats to a beautiful villa in rural Italy, or France, or a remote tropical island, to find their self-worth. To find they are enough. Interestingly what do they do on these self-awareness retreats?
They write. It’s either a book or a journal but either way, it’s writing!
Writing is so cathartic and thankfully we don’t have to travel anywhere to do it. We can do it anywhere! It allows us to pour out our souls in the written word. A private journal in particular is like talking to a best friend who has your complete confidence. The more you write and unload, the more confident you will become.
Your story might be raw in your journal but the next step may be to set up a public blog, focusing on a theme you are passionate about. It could be photography, art, cooking, a life event, or even a particular cause you are advocating for.
Before you know it, you may have enough blog posts to form chapters of the book you’ve always wanted to write. Self-doubt can prevent us from achieving our dreams and goals. By replacing self-doubt with self-belief, using some of the basic tips we’ve shared, we hope you will begin to realize……
You. Are. Enough.
…and you always have been.
Written by Samantha Moss
Samantha Moss is a retired management executive, writer, podcaster, and IWP-published author of My Medical Musings. She uses her writing talent to provide support and encouragement for those living with chronic illness via her own blog and online support forum. She is a passionate patient advocate, raising awareness about what it is like living with chronic disease and how it is possible to find new ways to live a full and rewarding life.